


Cold

by Nickynesh



Series: Izayas Musings/Shizuos Concerns [2]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Language, M/M, Minor Violence, Overprotective Izaya, References to Depression, Sad Shizuo my poor sad child
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-11-13 06:46:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickynesh/pseuds/Nickynesh
Summary: Shizuo has been long since felt the chill climb up his body engulfing him in a familiar feeling of apathy,unknowingly he grew to adjust his life to endure the voices and the psychological pain but slowly its getting worse.His only hope is for someone to burn down his defense and unknowingly help ward off the cold.





	1. Chilly

**Author's Note:**

> ITALICS= Dreams/Thinking
> 
> Bold= ???

_—————————————————————————————————–_

_I was smiling at him, smiling and laughing, being kind, we went on dates (if you could call us running around on buildings a date), and he would hug me tell him me I was cute…_ **A MONSTER** _…No! I’m, I’m loved…_   **HE’S LYING** _… I have friends who are like family and a lover…_ **YOU’LL HURT THEM**.

_No!_

**FIRST YOUR FAMILY THEN YOUR FRIENDS THEN YOUR LOVER WILL LEAVE IN THE END!**

**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~**

Shizuo woke up breathing heavily in bed instinctively he moved over looking for Izaya forgetting he was in  _his_  apartment, in  _his_  bed-  _his_  cold and empty bed.

It was the second night he woke up to remember how alone he was and that drea… No, nightmare, hadnt made it better. Recently he found he was feeling slightly chilly maybe he was coming down with something. Hmm funny he never usually got sick, it would probably pass before he felt too affected, he’d shake it off.

**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~**

Shizuo was on his way to meet tom, sick or not he was not gonna let down his Senpai. But he felt off but not in a sick way more like he wasn’t seeing well… everyone around him looked.

_Grey_

He shrugged it off and kept walking it was probably nothing, as he turned down an alley that would lead to the street Tom was on he heard voices in the lane he passed he looked in. Tch.

What Shizuo saw was six figures some holding iron bars and bats others weaponless standing around another dim figure on the ground, he couldn’t see them well they looked almost like shadows but that wasn’t important it didn’t take rocket science to figure out what was happening here, one of them turned to him then stepped up.

“Well what do we have here, don’t you see we’re busy fucktard get lost!” One of the other figures pulled him back.

“Careful don’t you know who that is he’s the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro ”

The first figure looked Shizuo over “Wait you mean he’s the freak who pulls up signs and chases that guy around town, hmm last I heard he was whoring himself out to the same dude”

Shizuo knew he heard right but he wasn’t processing it all the same, not only were people talking about him and Izaya they thought he was messing around with him like some cheap whore. At first he was worried ‘cause he was seeing shit but now he realized it was only the same shitty people he was trying to avoid every day the trash that made him feel like he was…  **A MONSTER, A FREAK… NOTHING.**

Shizuo was quiet….

Everyone stood frozen, they were waiting for it the oncoming storm, the volcanic anger that was sure to tear the unknowing fool to bits.

Shizuo was waiting for it too the familiar uncontrollable rage that leads his blood to boil and all ration to leave his mind, but all he experienced was a cold numbness.

“I’m not in the mood for your shit just leave and we won’t have a problem” the faux blonde could hear them talking amongst themselves, he was really regretting getting involved and the thought was making him sick to his stomach.

The one who had originally step up seemed to be the leader, he shrugged after realizing Shizuo was not moving he grabbed a bat from someone else.

“I have a better idea let’s not let you leave, beat your faggot ass along with that piece of trash on the ground and prove your nothing but a weak little fuck boy!”

He charged at Shizuo bat raised he swung breaking the bat on the side of Shizuo’s face.

Blood slowly trickled…Shizuo remained unflinching.

“God damn you fucking monster. What are you idiots standing there for? Do something!”

No longer paying attention to the guy they were harassing earlier. The gang turned and attacked Shizuo, this gave their earlier victim time to scramble away.

Shizuo notices the absence of the cowering grey figure and realizes they must have scurried off, but as he comes to the realization-

He feels the iron bar in his side before he finishes the thought holding his side only for another to hit him in his stomach on the way down he heaves and crumbles to the ground.

“Sorry to say but it looks like your l-little *gasp* victim has escaped-*cough*!”

Shizuo laid there taking the kick he received after the comment, he could easily take these idiots but what was the point he would just end up causing a larger problem… So he laid there letting them beat and taunt him.

There words spiraled menacingly in his mind bouncing around assaulting him in a familiar tone with things he heard before.

**“FUCKING MONSTER”**

**“WASTE OF SPACE”**

**“MAN WHORE!”**

**“STRONGEST MY ASS”**

**“I BET NO ONE EVEN LOVES YOU!!!”**

Each assailant punctuated their sentence with a kick, bat or iron bar to Shizuo’s body and the last sentence ended with a bat to the face and a splatter of blood across the alley walls.

It was raining now, “Shit, let’s leave the fucker here it’s not like he’s even reacting, probably learned his place by now, come on guys”

They left Shizuo lying on the cold wet ground, and as he looked up he didn’t see what he expected, not low life thugs but grey figures walking away still insignificant as they always were.

He slowly got up and slouched against a wall. His rib is either bruised or broken either way he could feel the pain coursing through his veins though somewhere in his mind a voice whispered how much he  **DESERVED IT**.

Shizuo made a broken sound clutching his side before lifting his head and letting out a sob of despair into the heavily pouring rain, his shout twisted and morphed into more of a wheezy chuckle, a dark broken laugh that rose in volume.

A broken man sat in an alley he was covered in bruises and cuts, blood washed away by the steadily pouring rain thinking to himself how worthless people were, when he himself had no value, when he himself was worthless…

It was hilarious…

**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~**


	2. Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya goes over the deep end searching for Shizuo, while Shizuo himself is already drowning and is spiraling even further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm..... I can’t believe how much people actually wanted this story, I was so close to not finishing it but after seeing that people did care I stuck with it and decided to finish what I started. 
> 
> Hold on folks cause this is gonna be a bumpy ride,hope it’s what you expected and please tell me if you see any errors or just give me a suggestion in how to make the story better.

”So could you regale me with your amazing feat Nezumi-san, you say you fought with Shizu-chan”

 

”You mean how my boys and I completely beat that fuckers ass! Don't know why nobody else could do it especially you Orihara-san"

 

Izaya let out a dry laugh and plastered on the most believable smile he could muster in front of the would-be gang leader.

 

It was humans like these that made Izaya remember why he did-what he did,2 weeks...That's how long it had been since he last saw Shizuo, at first he thought the blond was just looking for some time alone- he was looking less angry and more down lately avoiding contact and sleeping in his old apartment instead of their shared flat, and Izaya didn't like that. He was worried and when he heard rumors of some small time gang having attacked and beaten the man (his Shizu-chan), and won a week ago, so he decided it was time to take action.

 

Days of searching, called in favors and the few broken fingers of a poor underling later Izaya had found and made contact with the leader of the...... It didn't even matter, they attacked his Shizuo.

 

”Nezumu-san as happy as I am for your victory, Shizuo isn't known to stay down for long” Izaya was fighting to hold his composure he was leaning against a grimy alley wall and fingering his switchblade in his coat's pocket.

 

The bastard had the gall to stand smugly in front of him.

 

”Ha from what I heard he goes down pretty easy for you.....”

 

’!!!!’ Izaya was not pleased...

 

He let out a mirthless chuckle, ”Nezumu-san no matter how much you boast and flatter I find it hard to believe that you and your crew single-handedly took out Shizuo Heiwajima, so lets cut the pleasantries and get real,  _where_ is he now?”.

 

The sentence was punctuated by a blade being pointed dangerously at the unsuspecting street urchin.

 

He looked worried, said Nezumi was new to the city and wasn't acquainted with Izaya’s brand of business and it was painfully obvious he thought Izaya was here in this decrepit alleyway to thank or congratulate him...there would be no such thing.

 

”T-tch like I said man we taught the bastard a lesson after interferin’ in our business and left ’im lying in ’der” the smug look his face fell as he noticed the informant skip closer his red eyes glinting.

 

”I didn't check to see if he left and I'd be surprised if he could walk after all we di-!!!”

 

All too late he saw the glint of silver fly towards him, but he did feel warm blood trickle down his side and tastes copper in his mouth as he bit into his tongue, then he saw the very pissed informant charge towards him and armed with another knife only to be kicked to his back.

 

”I think I've heard quite enough of that from you. It seems you misinterpreted your invitation here this time evening, because of _YOU_!!!”

 

Izaya pressed his leg on the handle of the knife stuck probably in Nezumi’s ribs eliciting a pained gasp.

 

”I can't find my Shizu-chan, so let me correct whatever wrong assumption is drifting around in that empty skull of yours”

 

He leaned down grabbing then twisting the knife he lodged in the urchins side.

 

”I'm.Going.To. Make.You.Disappear”

 

He drove the knife deeper while twisting and adding pressure on every syllable.

 

The urchin dared to gasp in pain and try to pull away begging for mercy ”S-STOP, I-WE DIDN’T KILL HIM, SO WHY GO AFTER ME!!!” He yelled as another knife was plunged straight through his hand pinning it to the alley floor.

Izaya laughed in the dark grimey alley and without thinking twice then answered.

 

”Because you touched my property....”

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

Shadows...shadows everywhere, whisking up the walls, casting on the ground and climbing up his body moving to his head, trying to ensnare his mind, whispering the sweet nothings of doubt and self hate in his mind.

 

He remembers calling Tom telling him he didn't feel well-it was close enough to the truth.

 

He remembers the buzzing in his head, the numb limbs, the static in his ears.

 

He was wandering down the street everything was....grey his vision swam with this paste of grey the, people?. They were all more unfocused blobs, he had kept his head down too afraid to see looks of fear and distaste.

 

He was wet wasn't he....among a sea of shadows and umbrellas he saw his reflection in a shop window.......All he saw was grey.

 

Shizuo closed his eyes, where was he to look when all he saw was the demons of his mind crawling on the wall's.

 

_Walls?...Where am I?...These aren't my walls...Not Izaya’s walls...Izaya!_

_What the hell is happening,why isn't he here!? I can't breath I can't think I need..._

 

”Izay....!”

 

In his frazzled state, Shizuo failed to notice the syringe that was inserted in his arms and as the sedative worked in his system he fell limp on the bed.

 

The shaking hands of a young man in an lab coat dropped the syringe and quickly headed for the door, he opened the bolts and briskly made his way down to an office and wasted no time in entering.

 

”Did you do as I instructed” The voice sounded mildly irritated probably due to the fact that they wanted nothing to do with this mess.

 

”Y-yes S-shiki-dono he's put to sleep with enough sedative to put an elephant to sleep but with his uhm... Unique psysiology it'll only last about twenty four hours...”

 

Shiki sighed ”Thats good enough, it'll give me time to inform the informant of his whereabouts... Ever since the supposed defeat of Heweijima The fool has been harassing the city gangs more than normal I'm sure he was looking for the blonde”

 

He looked at the confused scientist.

 

”I thought that Heiwajima and Orihara hated each other,Heiwajima he was calling out for him... Are the two of them...like that?”

 

The scientist fidgeted under the intense gaze of the Awakusu-Kai member.

 

Shiki let out a loud huff then made a non-comital sound.

 

”It doesn't matter does it all that matters is that we give Orihara what he wants and we get that raging monster out of here what's wrong with him anyways......asides from the wounds he got from the fight”

 

The young man straightened as he realised the attention was back on him

 

”Its not my area of expertise but I believe he is going through some sort of delirious episode though I can't tell why” He mumbled out his answer and tried to get the words out as quickly and accurately as he could.

 

Shiki sat there and took in this new piece of information, what in the world would make someone like Heiwajima Shizuo have an episode....Hmm it seemed everyone did have their own issues.

 

”Interesting...”

 

”What was that Shiki-dono?”

 

Shiki just pointed to the doors.

 

”Nothing. You can leave now...Also if you breath a word of this outside this room, lets just say you won't be breathing for much long after”

 

The eyes of the prominent Awakusu-kai member bore deep into the young man.

 

”U-understood”

 

And then he left.

 

Shiki release a breath he didn't know he was holding then scratched his head.

 

”Ahh this is so much more trouble than it's worth That annoying informant owes me so much for this. But it might be worth a little if I can get him to stop rampaging around the city. Who would have guessed, it seems he cares more than he let on”

 

Interesting, very interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is hope you like it I’m planning to add another chapter since after going through the drafts I realized I wrote waaay more than 1000 words so the next chapter be the last and look forward to it not taking a millennia to post.
> 
> Tumblr  
> -Nickynesh  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nickynesh

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter Izaya comes in yay!
> 
> I really debated on whether I should have left this twoshot out of the series or not and realised that it made no sense to worry over it and that if people liked this interpretation of Shizuo or not it didn't matter..... So here you are 'messed up' Shizuo courtesy of me.
> 
> Tumblr  
> -Nickynesh  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nickynesh


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